Last evening I stumbled across this: --------------------------------->
It is what I consider a funny Facebook argument for why Gandalf is the better of the two wizards (Dumbledore vs Gandalf). I sent this to my friend, Bill and proposed that although this person's argument was very funny and somewhat strong, I would be able to come up with an equally strong argument for why Dumbledore was better. I typed up my argument, lost my internet for the night, saved the argument, and now I'm posting it. My IMPASSIONED argument for the late Dumbledore.
*WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT READ THE BOOKS THOUGH HONESTLY YOU'VE HAD YEARS TO DO SO*
Let's start with Dumbledore's early life. Did I mention that he was a friggen
BOSS even as a kid? His
dad went to prison for torturing a couple of muggle boys - badass. He turned
out to be an incredibly kind kid anyway. Set his bed-curtains on fire 'cause they
were un-fab and
MADE IT LOOK LIKE A FUCKING ACCIDENT. Won numerous prizes
during his school years, also considered the most brilliant student to ever
attend the school. FUCKING HEAD BOY, BITCHES. After his MOTHER was killed he
took care of his siblings LIKE A BOSS. Then his fucking LITTLE SISTER was killed in an accident/battle
with his BEST FRIEND who fled the scene and he dealt with it LIKE A BOSS. Was
offered Minister of Magic several times, turning it down each time (like a
boss). Later defeated Grindelwald (who had the FUCKING ELDER WAND) in a duel
without even having to kill him.
 |
| Harry's a horcrux? Fucking knew it. |
But let's pretend those are all small things. Dumbledore was still one of only two known wizards to
ever have possessed one of each of the Deathly Hallows - fucking master of death? I
think so - because let's not forget that Dumbledore
KNEW THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME
THAT A PART OF VOLEMORT'S SOUL WAS IN HARRY POTTER. He might as well have been omniscient because he basically had the WHOLE series orchestrated. The one mistake
he made was touching the ring horcrux (wanting to access the powers of the
Resurrection Stone) which would then lead to an early death (earlier since Snape
killed him (which, might I mention,
WAS ALSO PART OF HIS FUCKING PLAN
- HE PLANNED HIS OWN FUCKING DEATH! WTF?!)). And after that, every subsequent
part of his plan fell right into place. Harry dies (and meets Dumbledore's
spirit, who is fucking MODEST AS SHIT despite his amazingness), comes back to
life and kills Voldemort with his friends (all of whom were influenced by
Dumbledore in some shape or form). All a part of Dumbledore's master plan. And
these are just major PLOT-related things that make Dumbledore the best. I could list
other individual things like:
 |
| I do all the work.. |
Him
single-handedly capturing all the death eaters during the battle in the
Ministry of Magic (save for that bitch, Bellatrix) then proceeding to own
Voldemort and make him flee (Voldemort possessed Harry after this because he
wanted to see if Dumbledore would sacrifice Harry (which he actually could have
done - he knew what would happen, but he had his master plan so he didn't give
a fuck really)).
 |
| Can't do THIS, Harry? Useless. |
He
helped Harry get the (what turned out to be fake) locket Horcrux by drinking
that FUCKING
TORTURE JUICE and ended up saving the fucking helpless Harry
afterward with a fucking CAVE full of fire. It is right after this where
Dumbledore gets killed on purpose, might I remind you.
 |
| Badass. |
He
was a master of magic, intellectual genius, duellist, COULD in fact use Homenum
Revelio both wandlessly and nonverbally (letting
him detect people even under THE fucking Cloak of Invisibility), Occlumency and
Legilimency expert (could see into people's fucking minds but no one could see
into his), Spell Creator and master of FIRE, ALSO multilingual, potions,
charms, transfiguration AND apparation expert, and just general fucking badass.
Wise
as fuck, BOSS, and everything in between. He even fucking gets to exist in the living world after death through his portrait. Still not convinced that he's the best?
He
was gay too.
BAM.
